March...where did you go?

There has been so much craziness in the month of March - I'm actually happy to see it go (although I'm not really looking forward to the 1st of April and all of it's lil pranks that will be pulled) I had something to do every single weekend of the month and it was utterly exhausting. I don't remember what I posted in the last entry - but just to update quickly - Steve and I are not "trying" to get pregnant with help from the docs at this time - or for a while - we are not preventing - but I'm not letting it consume my life at the moment either and (not so) surprisingly it has really made things around here much happier!

The first weekend of March I had a cancer benefit to go to and then my SIL Stephanie and SIL Ashley's bachelorette party to attend (don't forget about that big ol double wedding coming up in May!)...it was quite the entertaining weekend! Including strippers!The Lucky Bachelorette's and the strippers!

(yeah.....they weren't so hot...)

*also on the double wedding front - ugh I got my bridesmaid dress - what a JOKE. Ordered it 2 sizes too big on purpose in the hopes that I'd be big and pregnant by May (we ordered these dresses in November) and so when it FINALLY came in it was a whopping TEN sizes too big - not TWO. It literally FALLS off of me and is really gonna hurt the ol asshole to get it altered to fit. The place these dresses come from (FORMALS IN LITCHFIELD) was a JOKE. RUDE and so NOT helpful......ugh will never go there again EVER. So now I have to find someone to alter it and not take my second born child as payment when that time comes......it so sucks.

The second weekend in March was the celebrations for my cousin/BFF Sarah's birthday and then my lil cousin Mason's 1st birthday....good times - too much to drink....lack of sleep!

The third weekend in March I hosted a girls night at my house on Friday with an "Adult Toy/Pure Romance Party" Lots of Strawberry Daiquiri's and too many dildo's later we went to the bar for drinks! Saturday I actually got to stay home and relax with the husband!

The last weekend of March was the celebration of my baby sister Amber's 21st birthday and yes, we did make it an ALL weekend long celebration! Friday night we had a party at our local hangout C~N~R's - again, too many drinks and a HUGE lack of sleep (but Jami came all the way down for Chicago-land and we made the best of it!)

Divas Rock Ass!

So Do Sisters!

and then Saturday we trekked down to St Charles MO in the pouring down rain to shop, eat and go to the Ameristar Casino! Sorry, no pics from that day/night. Not only did we lose our asses at the casino but it snowed while we were away! YUCK Though we had a blast while there and the family is already asking when we can go back (too bad Steve and I already have reservations for June! ;p) Sunday was spent under a warm blanket snoozing ALL DAY LONG.

Now tomorrow is April 1st and Spring is well under way. It's kinda hard to believe that Easter is right around the corner!

I spent a couple hours on Sunday, most of the day Monday and about an hour today reading a book that Jami brought me titled "Such A Pretty Fat; One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big or Why Pie is Not the Answer" By Jen Lancaster I truly believe that there were certain parts of that book I could have written myself - I often wondered if we fat girls all think the same! see http://www.jennsylvania.com/ to have a look-see about what this girl is all about - she's my new hero. I LOVE HER. If only I could voice my opinions the way she does and NOT give a rats ass about hurting people's feelings....I'd probably be a much happier person.

She's seriously awesome - I wanna be her! lol Nah, not really, I love my life, but to be able to just say it how it is and not have it all mis-construed like it gets here in this little hick town would be a God send. truly it would. But NOOOOOO I have to watch my Ps and Qs here because there would be no possible way to say what I'm thinking and get away with it like she does.....damn.

Otherwise life has been pretty un-eventful. I've been giving serious serious thought to getting back into the "real" workforce. I feel as if I'm just kinda getting over the whole daycare thing maybe....

ok totally off topic here for a minute - but while typing that, I'm listening to the news, and I would like to know what kind of parent leaves a GUN anywhere NEAR the areas a fucking 2 year old toddler could get to it and then have that same 2 year old toddler be able to SHOOT that gun. Serves that stupid bitch right for getting shot by a toddler. Gun shouldn't have even been in that house, you dumb cunt.

(Now see if I could only talk about some people around here that frustrate me like that! :) )

anywho - back to the workforce thing. While I feel as if I may need to get away from daycare and it's sudden lack of income - I am weary of getting back into it at the same time because I LOVE BEING AT HOME EVERYDAY. I LOVE IT. I love that I don't have to get out of my pajamas if I don't want to -I love that my house will stay very clean if I stay the hell off of Facebook and the evil Farm Town game...I love that I can basically go and do as I please and still make money. But right now said money isn't rolling in as nicely as it was previously and that makes it a bit hard to deal with. Even though school will be out soon enough and I will have full time kids again - it still won't be enough to live on comfortably really. It's only enough to scrape by on and I'm so SICK of doing that. Even though I know Steve doesn't want me to quit doing daycare - he would hate it - I watch him work 2-3 jobs a day and bust his ass to make money that is gone before it ever really hits our bank account and I can't help but feel a bit of guilt that I sit on my ass all day long pretty much doing whatever I please and he's out busting ass to make a dollar.....hmmm seems wrong to me. Equal partnership.....we don't have that when it comes to bringing in the money. At one point I was making way more than he was with the daycare - but then the kids got old enough for school and I lost a bit of that income -okay a HUGE chunk of that income.....then my full time baby's momma went on bed rest for a pregnancy so I tentatively lost that one till new baby comes and momma goes back to work (which won't be till August-ish at the earliest) The other full timer I had - well that just wasn't working out and I'll leave it at that. Although that baby's momma is pregnant as well and IF I were to take him back that could potentially lead me to another full timer....but......I just dunno. I need to make a pro and con list to giving up the daycare I suppose. I can already list so many things I would miss and have to give up - like my FREEDOM! But so many things we would gain with a higher income - like FINANCIAL STABILITY - paying off those evil credit cards....continuing to bring up our credit score....possibly buying a home....etc....

Maybe I just found why I get so stressed out all the time! I think too much! hahaha! I mean here I am concentrating on losing weight (which I'm down nearly a whole 20lbs now! woot!) and I also want to quit smoking like NOW (especially since smokes are going up AGAIN tomorrow) and then I'm thinking of giving up my business to find a new job......houses......babies......new cars....vacations......giving up my FREEDOM! LOL

I don't know why I'm bothering with it really - I know if I bring it up to Steve again he's gonna beg me not to do it....but it's not like he can really stop me. then I remember when I DID do it before and how much I hated it - missed the kids....but I think had I actually LIKED the job I was doing I would have been okay - because I have to admit - I did like being out of this house a considerable amount of the day. I guess only time will tell with that little issue.

Life is good otherwise. I'm exercising daily, losing weight slowly, but feeling great about it. I have my awesome husband and son - who has become a TWEEN NIGHTMARE btw. Seriously that whole little mantra that our mom's used to say to us about "I hope your kids are twice as bad as you are when you have kids" was really a damned spell that they put on us wasn't it? That was our real punishment when we were kids behaving badly - and we had no idea just how bad we were gonna get it 10-20 years down the road....what a huge vat of un-fairness that was!! Like, really, WHAT gives this kid the rights to have such a smart ass mouth on him? Hmmm? It couldn't be because I was a smartass kid could it? No, surely not? I refuse to believe that one. What makes him such a total PUNK at this age? oh I know...it's because he's just like his FATHER!! SO really it's HIM that's supposed to be getting the brunt of this but instead I got the shit end of the stick - is that it? Yes, I think so. If the so called "tween" years are this bad I'm seriously dreading the actual TEEN years. I can see it now.....he's gonna be in a military school faster than fuck. Yeah.....maybe I should start Googling those now. LOL It gets so bad that sometimes I give serious thought to never having another child. EVER. LOL I'm so not even kidding.

Anyway - I hate to cut this short (not really cause I'm tired of typing and my wrists hurt) but I also stink and need to shower badly and it's already 10:20pm and time for bed!

So Until Next Time - take care!